(set: $RelP to 5)
(set: $HelP to 10)
Starting HP is $HelP
(link-goto: "The Distant Roar Of Adulation Fills The Dark Void Of Your Cell. It grows louder as gears clank and grind, raising the floor and opening the ceiling to blind you with light.", "quesOne")
(set: $corP to 0)
And then you're in the arena. And dreemurrs are howling and cheering for the deaths of you and your fellow inmates: two of them, a diamond and a fred, both cowering as their own cells force their ascencion.
You snarl at the audience and send a bullet pattern spinning into the air to let them know just what you think of their dustlust.
And then there's a metallic whine. Your bullet pattern is shot to smithereens. And the killer robot himself (link: "swaggers")[rockets in a suggestive manner] above the stage.
"W-ELL, WELL, W-WELL! WE-WELC-COME!! TO-TO ME-ME-T-T-TATON'S SHOW: KIL-KILLING WITH-TH A KIL-KILLER RO~O~OBOT!!" The glitch in his voice makes it difficult to be too scared.
You say as much in more colorful words.
His screens all flash red. His four arms gesture each in a different expression of (link-reveal: "melodrama.")[//He's... actually kinda cute?//]
"YO-YOU DA-D-DARE?? HOW CRU-CRUDE~... WHY D-DO-DON'T YOU AN-ANSWER OU-OUR FIRST QU-QUEST-STION, DA-DA-RL-RLING?
"WHA-AT IS THE P-PRI-RIZE FOR BE-BEING COR-COR-RECT?"
(link: "Roar \"More Questions\"")[(set: $corP to 1)(goto: "puzOne")]
(link: "Wonder \"Gold and Kill Rights\"")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "puzOne")]
(link: "Sneer \"Pain and Death\"")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "puzOne")]
(link: "Flirt \"Kisses and Freedom\"")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(goto: "puzOne")] HP: $HelP
(set: $puzP to 0)
(set: $kill to 0)
(if: $corP is 0)[Mettaton's screens flash yellow in alternating patterns and he emits a mechanical laugh. Arcs of lightning shoot from his hands to burn into your soul. "NI-NICE TR-TRY-Y..."]
(else:)[If a robot could look disappointed, Mettaton does. "CORRECT." He intones.]
"BU-U-UT THIS IS THE-E RE-RE-AL CHA-CHAL-LENGE!"
The stage transforms; lasers clack into place on the sides, and flick on, bathing the silver metal of Mettaton's body in blue and orange. The blue ones are moving back and forth. The orange ones are still.
The other two contestants have to be prodded off of their cell floors. You sashay up to the first laser, glancing back at the diamond and fred over your shoulder. The diamond seems expendable. You could use them as a shield to get through. Or you could try to duck under and over the lasers.
(link: "Use the Diamond As a Shield")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(set: $kill to 1)(goto: "quesTwo")]
(link: "Try To Maneuver Through.")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(set: $puzP to 1)(goto: "quesTwo")](set: $papP to 0)
(set: $corP to 0)
(if: $puzP is 0)[You grab the diamond as they innocently approach and run through the line of lasers with them in the deadly path. Their HP is lower than you expected, though, and they shatter when you're only two more lasers away from the finish, covering you with dust. The crowd howls in appreciation.
You don't even pause before rolling through the last two lasers.
"WH-WHAT SPE-ECT-TACULAR FE-ER-OCITY! WHA-AT CU-CUTHRO-AT LO-O-OVE!!" Mettaton claps with all four hands, hovering just above you.
Behind you, the fred ducks and weaves through the lasers, getting singed every few feet.
"AS A PR-PRIZE FO-FOR BE-BE-ING A G-OO-OOD SHO-OW... I WI-ILL ALL-LLOW YO-YOU TO ANS-ANSWER OUR NE-EXT QUES-ESTION!]
(else:)[You duck or hop around each laser. The two other contestants follow your lead. You manage to make it to the last laser... which is moving up and down too fast for you to get around.
So you run through it and roar your victory to the wild crowd. Mettaton whistles. "I WOU-OULDN'T BE TOO HA-APPY JU-JUST YET...]
"WHA-AT DOES THIS LOV-OVELY AU-AUDI-IENCE DE-ES-ESIRE?" His screens all flash red. If he had a face, you'd say he was scowling.
(link: "The Star, Of Course.")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(goto: "puzTwo")]
(link: "Romance, Duh.")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "puzTwo")]
(link: "Dust...")[(set: $HelP to $HelP + 1)(set: $corP to 1)(goto: "puzTwo")]
(link: "Spaghetti!")[(set: $papP to 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "puzTwo")]HP: $HelP
(set: $puzP to 0)
(if: $corP is 1)["D-DUST... IS CO-ORRECT." He (link: "says cheerfully")[says, seeming almost sad.]]
(else:)[(if: $papP is 1)[Somebody in the audience shouts with a loud strident voice, "DAMN RIGHT! MY SPAGHETTI IS SECOND ONLY TO METTATON'S BEAUTY!!"
](else:)[The audience is silent. Anticipatory.
(if: $RelP >= 8)["N-NOW, NO-OW, NO FLI-LIRTING WI-ITH THE DU-UNG-EON MA-MASTER..." Mettaton's hands gesture with dramatic swoons; all except for one, which fires a beam of lightning at you.
](else:)[Mettaton shakes his hand, tutting, and blasts you with lightning.]]
"BUT LO-LOOK! WH-WHA-AT DA-AST-ARDLY PU-UZZLE IS THIS??"
A table spins up from the ground. On it is a cake. You sniff it warily, but it doesn't smell poisoned, although the scent is nothing that could be called pleasant.
"T-T-RY IT~ AND TE-ELL TH-THE CH-CHEF WHA-AT YOU THI-INK..."
You take a slice and shove it in your mouth, ravenous.
It's not so bad, at first... But then the flavors kick in and, ugh, is that dust?? The slimy texture leaves a terrible aftertaste on your tongue.
Mettaton is waiting for an answer.
(link: "Say It Tastes Like Death")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "quesThree")]
(link: "Tell Him It Tastes Wonderful")[(set: $puzP to 1)(set: $RelP to $RelP - 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP + 1)(goto: "quesThree")]HP: $HelP
(set: $alP to 0)
(set: $corP to 0)
(if: $puzP is 0)[(if: $RelP >= 10)[Mettaton slaps a hand against his screen in a gesture of shock, even as one other fires an unavoidable beam at you. "SU-UCH HO-HONESTY!!"](else:)[If a robot could be frowning, he would be. "H-HOW RU-UDE... I M-MA-ADE THA-AT CA-A-AKE J-JUST FO-OR YOU PRI-RISO-NERS, TO-OO..." He fires a beam of electricity at you.]](else:)[(if: $RelP >= 10)["OH, ST-STO-OP THA-AT, YO-OU~" Mettaton simpers.](else:)["DON'T BO-BOTHER TR-RYING TO Fl-FlIRT... I-I'M TO-OO GO-OOD FOR Y-YOU~"]]
You roll your eyes. Mettaton either doesn't notice or doesn't comment.
"BUT LE-ET US MO-OVE ON-WARD~ WHAT ARE MONSTER SOULS MADE OF?" His voice is flat. Perhaps the glitch left him for those few words... or perhaps he's more in control of it than he seems.
(link: "LoVe and HoPe")[(set: $corP to 1)(set: $RelP to $RelP + 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP + 1)(goto: "puzThree")]
(link: "HaTred and LusT")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(goto: "puzThree")]
(link: "CoMpassion and EmPathy")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "puzThree")]
(link: "DeTermination and DuSt")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(set: $alP to 1)(goto: "puzThree")](if: $HelP <= 0)[(goto: "Death")]
(set: $puzP to 0)
(if: $corP is 1)["SO-OMEB-BODY KNO-OWS TH-THE-EIR L-LO-ORE~" Mettaton says in a sneering tone. "BU-UT KN-KNO-OWLEDGE I-ISN'T EVE-ERYTHING..."]
(else:)[(if: $alP is 1)["INTERESTING... BUT INCORRECT." Mettaton fires. You refuse to flinch at the pain of your HP dropping.]]
(else:)[(if: $RelP >= 12)[Mettaton tuts as he fires, but the pain isn't so bad. "IT'S T-TO-OO BA-AD YO-YOU'RE A PR-PRIS-ONER... I THI-INK I'M EN-ENJ-OYING TH-THIS."
It's too bad he's a celebrity; you think you'd enjoy switching roles with him. You say so. He laughs.]]
(else:)["HM... A-ARE Y-OU ST-STILL ATTE-EMPTING TO WI-IN MY AFF-AFFE-ECTIONS??" He fires a beam at you, drawing a whimper from your gritted teeth, which you turn into a growl. "IT. WON'T. WO-ORK."]
"AN-AND IT'S R-RA-ATHER BO-ORING, ISN'T IT, I-IF IT'S ON-ONLY QUIZZES?"
Mettaton waves all four hands. The floor begins to twist and tiles overturn, structures arising from beneath to create a maze...
It's made entirely of swinging chainsaws.
You'll have to duck and weave through them. The first one barely scratches your snout, and the next slices a lock of your mane off.
You make it most of the way to the end, but then there's a scream. The fred has fallen into a spike pit, and is hanging on by one hand.
Hmm... if you helped him out, he might make a useful scapegoat for Mettaton to blast. Then again, less competition if you shoot him with a bullet hell to make him fall.
(link: "Kill")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(goto: "quesFour")]
(link: "Save")[(set: $puzP to 1)(goto: "Save")]]
(set: $save to 0)
You pull the fred out of the pit and drag the lupine centaur through the maze, ignoring his yelps as the chainsaws graze him.
Mettaton's screens flash yellow. "D-ID YO-OU TH-INK THA-AT SA-AVING HI-HIS PA-ATHE-TIC LIFE WO-OULD EN-DE-EAR YO-OU TO MY LO-LOYAL VIE-IEWERS??
(link: "\"I Figured You Would Want His EXP.\"")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP + 1)(goto: "quesFour")]
(link: "\"Don't Kill Him!\"")[(set: $save to 1)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "quesFour")](if: $HelP <= 0)[(goto: "Death")]
(if: $puzP is 0)[(if: $kill is 1)[You shoot a bullet pattern at the fred's hands and his scream is cut off as he falls onto the spikes below and shatters. You make it out of the maze mostly unharmed, a bit scratched up, but not much. Mettaton, unnaturally, hovers silently while the audience goes wild.
Finally, he speaks. "YOU SEEM TO BE THE WINNER... BU-UT... YO-OUR FATE WI-WILL BE DE-DET-TERMINED BY YO-OUR ANS-WER TO THIS LAST QUE-QUESTION.](else:)[The diamond cowers when you look at them. They have rolled underneath all the chainsaws safely.
Mettaton would be grinning if he had a face.]]
(else:)[(if: $save is 0)[You step away from the fred, gesturing for Mettaton to go ahead and kill him. The robot claps slowly with two hands and fires at the sobbing fred with another, shattering him into dust. "VE-ERY GO-OOD... I KN-KNEW YOU WE-ERE AN INTER-ESTING ONE..."](else:)[Mettaton's screens flash a red X. "BAD FORM. VERY. BAD. FORM. TH-THIS I-I-IS A DE-EATHMA-ATCH, NOT A DA-ANCE PA-ARTY!" Two hands fire beams that arc through the air, one at you and one to the fred. The fred shatters.]]
"AND... THE QUE-ESTION... IS! IN "DECIMATION BY VERY LARGE ABOMINATIONS", WHAT IS YELL YELL SHORTY'S FAVORITE FOOD?"
(link: "Human")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "DATE?")]
(link: "Monster")[(set: $RelP to $RelP + 2)(set: $HelP to $HelP - 1)(goto: "DATE?")]
(link: "Chocolate")[(set: $HelP to $HelP - 2)(goto: "DATE?")]
(link: "Potatoes")[(set: $HelP to $HelP + 1)(goto: "DATE?")]](if: $HelP <= 0)[(goto: "Death")]
(if: $RelP >= 15)["HMM... YOU WON... INTERESTING...(if: $kill is 1 and $save is 0)[YOU DESTROYED YOUR COMPETITION... YOU DESTROYED MY SOUL... AH, WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS... LOVE? YES, YES, I DO BELIEVE YOUR DUSTLUST HAS CAPTURED MY HEART!"](else:)[YOU MAY BE A WIMP, BUT YOU HAVE SOMEHOW DEFEATED MY DEFENSES! AH~ YES... THIS IS LOVE, AND YOU WILL BE MINE.] BUT... WHAT BAD MANNERS~! WE BARELY KNOW EACHOTHER, FOR SHAME~ LET US CHANGE THAT IMMEDIATELY."
(link-goto: "Date the Killer Robot", "DATE!")
(link-goto: "Nope! Start Over.", "Start")]
(else-if: $RelP <= 7)[(goto: "Death")]
(else:)[Mettton considers you for a long moment. "VERY WELL. I WILL GIVE YOU A JOB. WORK HARD, WORK WELL~ AND MAYBE I'LL LET YOU DIE A NATURAL DEATH."(link-goto: "Yay for work? nah. Reset.", "Start")]](if: $RelP < 8)[Mettaton's screens flash an X; it's your only warning to dodge when his mini-hims rise from below the stage and fire at you. Your HP is whittled away until you shatter into dust, hearing all the while Mettaton's shrill glitching laughter.
(link-goto: "RESET", "Start")]
(else:)[Mettaton tuts sadly. "WE CO-COULD HAVE BE-EN... SO MU-MU-UCH MO-ORE... AH, THE DR-DRA-AMA! AH, TH-THE HE-EA-ART-BRE-BRE-EAK..." You shatter silently, refusing to give him the pleasure of hearing your last words.
(link-goto: "RESET", "Start")]Music plays in the background of Mettaton's five-star hotel (all stars given to it by himself).
Mettaton is dressed in a dashing blue dress. You tell him he looks wonderful, and you think he'd be smiling if his face weren't screens.
He orders steak in the shape of his face and banters with the waiter. The waiter, a cat monster, rolls his eyes and mutters something about being annoyed at his pushy boss, but he's smiling even so.
When the steak comes out, you force yourself to eat slowly, as much as you want to devour it in two bites.
Mettaton talks of his show all night. There's something... something roiling underneath, something he wants to discuss but can't. The state of the kingdom, perhaps.
So you bring it up. You say you hate the way the kingdom is run. And his screens flare red, but it's not signaling a threat. Two of his hands rub together. "Actually," He starts, in a hushed and unglitched voice.
And you spend the night like that. With him. Discussing the society of the Underground and the king and everything inbetween. He invites you to stay, and you have nowhere to go anyway so you accept.
He walks you to a room in the hotel and pauses by the door.
You reach for one of his hands. He gives it and you bend to kiss the air above it. It was a pleasure to meet him, you say.
He seems a bit downcast but agrees that it was a pleasure indeed.
In the morning, you go back to your life surviving on the streets. You never see him face-to-face again.
[[You Won The Game.->Start]]